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I’m Stella, Author & Publisher of 40 Flirty & Feisty Romance Novels. I’ve been married to my too-hot-to-handle, sexy husband for over 23 years, we have two adult children to God’s glory and live in London, UK. My romance stories feature sexy heroes who have hearts and souls and curvy heroines who are smart and know what they want. My lively, flawed characters who on their quest to find love will elevate your pulse rate, make your heart skip here & there, so that you’ll laugh, shed a tear sometimes and gasp for breath as their story unfolds. If an emotionally intense happy-ever-after is what you want coupled with a sprinkling of life lessons, turn to chapter one now & start reading. When I'm not writing, I'm having a laugh watching movies with my honey-boo, swimming like a star fish, or on mom duties with my grown-ups, or praising God in my own corner of the world. I dare you to read any or all of my steamy romance stories. I’ll love to hear from you.

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Saturday 23 March 2013

How to Handle #Heartbreak

Welcome to Advice Bench!




The moment you decide you're ready to get involved in a relationship, you become vulnerable in many ways. You share secrets, plans, ideas and you want to spend time building your world together. There will be disagreements, quarrels and pain, but the making up is usually nice and the whole experience brings you closer in some cases.


Heartbreak
Then, one day, all your dreams of being together skips to a screeching end for one or a hundred reasons. You're in shock, because it can't be true! What happened to all the promises made when you held hands and stared into each other's eyes in the fading moonlight?

Denial
At first, you go into a state of denial. You approach your wife or boyfriend to try to talk through the issue. You want to make it work. But to your other half, your affair or relationship is over! Your time together is history. There's no more 'us'.

Withdrawal
You withdraw, become bitter, angry and depressed. You cry so much your eyes are sore. You feel your heart being stabbed through with a two edged knife. You feel your heart breaking into a million pieces, bleeding and you think you're going to die of heartache. You shut out the world and you lose the will to go on. Work becomes hard labour, food tastes like straw and you blame yourself for not being good enough.

You are not alone
Do you really think you're the only one who has suffered from a broken heart? No way! Many love songs are inspired from a broken heart. Listen to Adele's, 'Someone Like You'.

What you can do
A broken heart is a terrible experience that will change your life for good or for bad. I want to tell you that you can use that traumatic experience to change your life for good.

But first, don't go running head long into another affair! It has no chance of succeeding because you're hurting!

Don't turn to excess use of alcohol or any use of drugs because you'll destroy your power to be in control of your life.

Healing
You need time to heal. Contrary to what people think, you need to work through your broken affair in your head. Think about the good and bad times, what went wrong
and eventually come to a quiet acceptance that it is well and truly over.

If it was your fault, its notthe end of the world, accept the fact that you're human and you make mistakes.

Tell yourself that if the relationship was meant to last, he would have been more tolerant. And if he cheated on you and also broke up with you, tell yourself you deserve a more honourable man.

If you don't sort through your layers of emotional baggage, apportion blame to your heart's content, accept your faults, cherish the good times, learn from the whole experience, resent him or her for discarding you like you don't matter, you will not be able to forgive and go on.

Start Again
After you've suffered  this emotional meltdown, you turn to your family or friends. You can start a new hobby like cooking, gardening, writing, pottery etc. You can join a gym to work out, feel good and learn to love yourself again.

Suddenly, anywhere you look, everyone seems to be in a relationship, but never mind, your time will come. Don't rush! Instead, keep busy and don't turn into a cynic! Not all men or women are like your heartless ex!

When your heart is truly mended, it's time to consider dating again. It may take a year or two, depending on how well adjusted you are.

One day, where you least expect and when you aren't expecting anything wonderful, someone will walk along your way that you will not believe can change your life for good. He will help you heal further, slowly make you start to trust again and your smile will be bigger than mine. But you have to be honest and true to yourself.

Good luck in your search for love. Remember, God can heal you better and you can be a consolation for others who are experiencing heart break. All you've got to do is ask!

Finally
I suffered two unpleasant life changing heartbreaks before I got married. I have been married thirteen years and it's been the best years of my life. My husband is more than my dream come true. I have God to thank for everything.

Never give up on love.


Thank you for visiting. Please leave your comments so I know you stopped by.

You are deeply appreciated.

Love,
Stella


Flirty & Feisty Romance 

Our promise...is to deliver an intensely emotional experience you'll never forget.




6 comments:

Unknown said...

Tracing the reasons for broken relationship is part of the healing process. The if, who, when, how does not add any painting to your new life. A relationship must be treated like a new born baby that must be kept away from "cold and foreign bodies". The mistake you must not make is, not to take your relationship for granted because the number of years does not immune your relationship from break up.

Flirty & Feisty Romance said...

You're absolutely right, my Mr. Right. Thank you for stopping by and for being my dream hero.

Unknown said...

After I and my lover spent about 4 years together, my boyfriend told me that we can not be together. and already We were making ready ourselves to get married this year and I was very happy and absolutely ready to marry him. this breakup started when he went a little far from the city where I live, a year before. He found a good job out there. And he promised me to come back in one or two years. In the mean time, I found a job around his place (we take it as a good opportunity for us to start living together) but the company I worked for resist to leave me since I am a responsible person in the company. They offered me a very nice salary increment with huge responsibility of work. Then I told to my boyfriend I preferred to stay where I live and work, since, he has not a plan to live there forever. He was very upset at the moment... and ignored me totally. I tried to contact him but I can’t. Following so much effort he sends me a message saying "our relationship is over". I never expected such a thing to happen, so I got sick. Even after so much begging he allow me to see him, but told me the same thing that it is over. I asked him the real reason. He said, you never listened to me, you never gave me credit, and you disrespected me…..and so on. I never noticed such a thing in our relationship before, so I got shocked and couldn’t say a word in front of him. For me our relationship was perfect. And I really love him. I want to be with him. I send so many letters saying I’m sorry, I tried to contact him but there is no reply. I did everything to attract him and live with him forever but nothing was going through. so I needed a help on how to get my lover back. I had the feeling that he still loves me, though he did not say a word. I needed help seriously. I thought it will never possible to get him back and be the happy couple again? so when I read testimonies about {greatidibiaspelltemple30@gmail} I contacted him and he told me that my case is a simple one to solve, so after his consultation and casting of his spell my boyfriend emailed me telling me he was sorry for all that he did to me, that he is ready to marry me now, I was shocked, I never believed that GREAT Idibia could make such thing to happen with his spell, today I am getting married to my boyfriend, and I will never forget this spell caster I will always talk about him anywhere I go angelina hocombe. Via +2348103508204

Flirty & Feisty Romance said...

Thanks Rebecca.

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Flirty & Feisty Romance said...

Thanks Vivian.

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